The dictionary
defines a bully as this; a blustering, quarrelsome person who habitually
badgers and intimidates people who are seemingly weaker than them.
Now, you read that again.
A bully is so much more but of course Webster’s Dictionary
can only give you a brief definition, so let me elaborate.
I will start with myself; I was tall for my age, the gawky
girl, the weirdo if you will, because I have always been different. Therefore I
was a big ol target for bullies. Anytime someone is the least bit different, you
will find that you draw more attention. I didn’t understand this concept at a
young age, and I didn’t know how to handle the taunts of kids, and hey even
adults. Yes, I had an adult bully me from childhood into adulthood. We will go
there later.
I would go home, cry to Mama, and beg to quit school, but at
9, I really couldn't do that now could I?
Mama’s advice was to stand up, and walk with my head high,
because they were jealous of the “different” girl. I should have taken her
advice, but hindsight is 20/20 now isn’t it?
What was my approach? I hate to say it; I kept being my
silly, goofy self, but I broke bad and starting beating the crap out of a few
of my bullies. Their words and taunts still hurt, but now I was for lack of a
better term,” Kicking ass and taking names.”
I did earn respect in some ways, but I just didn’t feel
right. I kept it up. Coming home all torn up, and then finally I faced a bully
one Saturday afternoon that was twice my size. He kicked my butt. I didn’t
stop, by the end of that day I had blacked both his eyes and gave him a limp.
Mama wasn’t mad, but the boy’s Mother was furious. I listened closely as Mom
spoke to the other Mother, “I won’t say I am going to punish her, she stood up
for herself, what she did wasn’t the best way to handle it, but I bet you five
bucks he never touches her again.” Afterwards I received a stern talking to
about taking justice in my own hands, and as she wiped off my bloody knuckles,
she winked and said “I swear, I am still proud of you killer.” I laugh now, but
as I venture back to that time, I see where I changed. I see that violence is
not the answer. Did I learn my lesson? Well, no, I was kicked out of summer
camp and sent home for beating up a girl who was picking on several girls that
were smaller than her.
Mom still telling me that my best revenge would be to keep
being myself and not let them get to me, from then on I approached the issue
from another angle; I quit caring, or acting like I cared. Of course it hurt,
but when I laughed it off, I saw that the bullies had no return attack because
I didn't fold or act off of what they had provoked. I then became somewhat of a
vigilante for kids that were bullied, I found myself in many fights and I didn’t
care, I hated seeing kids picked on. Maybe I shouldn't have taken it to that
level, but I was young and so mad at kids that couldn't fight back being the victim
of physical and mental torture.
That was many years ago, kids can’t display “playground
justice” like we once would.
Today our children face a different level of violence, guns
and weapons are involved and that is sickening. Also now with the internet very
present in the lives of most every person, the cases of cyber bullying are
staggering and it leads to some very grim places for our youth. Many see no way
out and take their own lives. That makes me feel physically sick to my stomach.
I can’t imagine the thought process and fear that leads our
children to take their own life because a bully is relentless and makes them
feel worthless.
My son was bullied for some time when he was in school, I
was furious, when he struck back, the system attempted to punish him for
defending himself against physical harm. I sat in the office beside him, he was
terrified and when I told the school administration that I was proud that he
didn’t let this bully beat him to death, which after twelve hits to his face,
my son finally was able to find the will and strength to push this boy off of
him, who outweighed him by more than a 100 pounds and brought blood to the head
of his tormentor he replied “Teresa you are instilling violence in your
children!”
Me? Really?
No, I taught my kids to never start it, but to always defend
themselves and if possible to help others if they aren't capable of defending
themselves.
I now see how dangerous bullying has become; lives are being
lost because this epidemic is out of control.
This is only my opinion but I think a bully starts at home,
I believe it is learned behavior, and I would bet my bottom dollar that a
parent home either condones it is a grown up bully. My solution won’t fix it,
but my fury towards this matter is to kick the asses of the parents who don’t
stop their children. I know that isn't logical but in anger, I would like to.
But how can we stop this growing problem? Seriously, how can we as parents and
adults stop our children from suffering and dying from this senseless problem?
I really want to know.
Sadly, I see that this isn't just a childhood problem; adult
bullies seem to be very common as well.
Here is my definition
of a bully, like it or not, here is my opinion. A bully is coward, a bully is
jealous, and has let anger and fear rule their actions so they lash out at
someone because they have no other outlet, they target people who have a weak
spot, maybe the poor, the less fortunate, the different person, the one who
goes against the grain, someone with a self esteem issues and that infuriates
me. These are the targets of bullies, children and adults, we all have a weak
spot and when a bully finds it, they play on it, and if they can’t find
something to punish their victim with, they tend to spread vicious lies about
them, therefore tormenting them even more so. I have seen this many times.
I don’t care what your sexual preference is, what skin tone
you have, your gender, your financial bracket, NOBODY deserves to be bullied
and if I had my way, I would show them how I handle it, by a good old fashion
ass kicking.
If I am using language that is offensive in this piece, I hate it
for you, I am angry and you can agree or disagree, I don’t care. My words, my
way! I didn't think of clever title for this piece because it isn't needed. I am telling you straight from my gut, how I feel and the anger I have about this issue.
I think if we as a community rally to stop this mess, we can
make a difference. Stand up for your kids, stand up for your friends, I don’t
care how old you are. As a person who has been bullied many times, I can tell
you first hand that just knowing someone cares and is on your side makes all
the difference in the world. Stand up, use your voice, we can make a change,
and slowly but surely stop people from dying because someone is a low life,
name calling coward who uses scare tactics to evoke fear in the hearts of their
victims. Oh what I wouldn't give for some good old fashioned playground
justice!
If we band together, and show that we won’t back down, that
bully has no power, and you rob them of the attention and power that feeds
them.
But instead, stand with me, stand beside me and if you know someone
is being harassed and bullied do everything you can to help, it seriously could
save a life.
Here are my thoughts.
©
Teresa ;)
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