~Thought For the Day~ Look! Do You See it?~ ©

     Yesterday I milled around somewhat glum, with no reason really but because of everything. Just one of those days; thinking over mistakes, pitfalls, debts, age and anything else that could enter my head and bring about a somewhat overcast mood.

I heard something downstairs so I ventured that way and I am so very thankful that I did.

I had seen an elderly lady moving in the prior weekend, but she had not spent any time here yet, so yesterday was her move in day.

She greeted me with a smile as I passed in front of her open door. She welcomed me in and I gladly stepped inside to say hello.

Her niece was there helping her get what few belongings she owned unpacked, and after about a minute I started lending a hand. I didn't even think about it, I just started doing this and that.

Being the tallest in the room I found my clumsy self balancing on a very small, meager bed trying to put in light bulbs without breaking my neck. Laughing with people I didn't know, but already felt a twinge of closeness to.

I heard a familiar voice and it was my youngest son, I should have known if I was doing something to help someone, he would be right there with me.

We both did small tasks, nothing huge, just things she couldn’t do.

We made small talk and as I was setting up her small television, I began getting to know her. Sitting on a stranger’s floor looking up at her sitting on her couch I saw something about her that I can’t really explain. She looked at me with hope; I guess that is what it was. She was glad someone was sitting there and was talking away, and as I was listening, I was also thinking. She reminded me of a few other people I have known in my life.

She asked my name and I told her, and I just kept studying her face. She then began to tell me she was on dialysis and was recently put on the transplant list. My heart fell into my stomach and I suddenly wanted to just grab her and hold her, but I couldn't so I sat there with tears in my eyes as she talked with such an upbeat and positive attitude.  She was showing me her curtains someone had given her, and I ran up to my place for some thumb tacks because she didn't have anything to hang things up with.

We kept talking and when everything was pretty much done, because as I said before she doesn’t have much at all, but she appeared so gracious and proud of the few things she had, and our conversation continued. Her niece making sure she was ok before she left her here in her new home. Now she was here all alone, in a two bedroom apartment that would seem small to most, but to this woman the area seemed to consume her, the rooms appearing much bigger as she leaned back obviously tired from her day.

She was telling me she had dialysis the next day and how it made her feel, someone would be dropping her off and she would alone. She didn't say that but I put it together. I can’t imagine going through a treatment and then coming back to a care for myself on my own, weak and unsure of what tomorrow would bring.

Her niece poking her head in for one last goodbye before she departed, I heard her call this woman’s name it and it tripped a switch in me. “Dove”. Her name is Dove. How beautiful.

I asked what time she would be returning from her treatment and she let me know, I casually said I would be around and that if she needed help getting in and settled I would be right here. I had in my mind already determined I would be watching for someone to drop her off so I could help her in some way, if any, but I will be present.

I tried to nonchalantly ask her what she needed, knowing I can’t afford presently to do much but I might have some things I could give her. I looked around and I could tell that anything I offer her she will be overjoyed to receive so as soon as I am finished writing this I will go to look through my closets and belongings to see if there is anything she can use. It is times like this that I wish I had more wealth, not for me, but for people like this gorgeous soul, so she would know someone cares, that hope isn’t far away and that people do care.

As I was leaving I had an afterthought and knocked again, I let her know that lots of nights I sit on the stairs to just think and take in the night, I didn't want her to be alarmed and I let her know it is my way of doing what I used to do back home, sitting out in the country just marveling in what is around me, and I felt homesick for that old hill, for my swing and that time alone I spent sitting and reflecting. I suddenly felt guilty for even having a thought of regret and missing home, I am grateful for where I am, I have a roof over my head and a staircase under the stars. She smiled and said something that just brought down the house for me, “Honey, don’t sit out there all alone in the cold, you can come in here and talk to me.” 

Her offering just brought me to tears, this sweet, sick woman, with no material wealth, her health dangling from a ledge, and she offers to take me in when I am sitting out there in my flip flops and socks and give me companionship.

Needless to say when I headed back upstairs I wasn't full of gloom and worry about what was bothering me. I am so very appreciative of everything I have, not just because I have a kitchen table and chairs, unlike Dove, but because I have people, I have love, I have smiles, I have my health and I have way more than I had when I first went down those the steps yesterday.

There are so many people in this world that would gladly trade lives with us. We complain about this and that, we make a fuss over what we don't have, gadgets, technology, the latest clothes, a new car, grown up play toys and yet there are people in this world who are just grateful that I found my thumb tacks to help them hang a set of worn curtains.

Take a few minutes today to be thankful for all that you do have. Stop going over what you haven't got, if you have a child, you are wealthy, if you have a place to call home, you are wealthy, if you have the love of friends, if you have food to eat( even a modest amount), if you have transportation, and most of all if you have someone there for you in sickness, wellness and all those times in between, quit feeling sorry for yourself. I know someone who would gladly take your leftovers and feel like they had been crowned a queen.

Today I challenge you to take account of what you have. That is all, take that any way you want it, just remember if you are feeling down, scared, unsure or ill tempered, hope can drift in on the wings of a “dove” very softly, calling no attention to itself, you have to look and see it. It doesn’t always smack you in the head, it takes effort and to take a break from feeling sorry for yourself to see it. Look up, look around, see it? Hope and an overwhelming feeling of having everything are right there.

Here are my thoughts.

©

Teresa