Let me introduce
myself in case you aren't familiar with who and what I am about.
I am Teresa Hardister. I am a writer, I am an author, I am woman,
I am a human being with red white and blue running through my veins, I am a
mother, a friend, and oh by the way, and you will quickly come to know that I
am very Southern.
With that being said I want to go ahead and tell you that I
will possibly offend you or make you mad, but I am fine with that because in
the end, I made you think. So I will write on. Now mind you my two cents is
about as valuable as a pat of Paula Deen’s butter, but here goes.
I want to address something very present in the media
currently. I normally shy away from such topics but I am going to attempt to
share my view of things with you, and hopefully if you have an open mind you
will better understand why I am penning these words.
In my first book, I wrote a chapter titled “Alien in the
Purple Dress”. I think today it would be appropriate to share some information
about that chapter that I left out but first I will recap what it entailed.
I attended a private Christian school until the 5th
grade, at that time my parents enrolled me in public school. I had no clue what
to expect, or who I would encounter. I was a nervous wreck.
When I arrived all my fears were met and I was the outsider,
I was the strange new girl who came from some distant planet who didn’t belong
in this class.
I suffered through the morning of my first day with no
friends, no smiles, and as recess approached I found myself fighting tears and
wanting desperately to go home. I never wanted to come back, these people were
so mean to me and they didn’t even know me. It didn’t help my case that my
attire did not match that of all the other kids. While all the other kids were
wearing shorts, t-shirts, and tennis shoes, I stood out like a big grape in a
purple print dress with matching hair clips.
Recess was going to be a nightmare, I could feel my stomach
churn as we filed out the door to the playground, I stood by the monkey bars at
Randleman Elementary and it felt like I was a million miles away from anything
I had ever known.
The children who passed by me laughed and pointed and called
me many nasty names, still fighting so hard not to cry I tried to look away. In
the distance I could see a little boy coming towards me. At first thought I
figured he was coming to just finish me off and send me wailing to the bathroom.
He smiled, and I looked behind me. He was smiling at me? My
first smile! I smiled back and as he got closer, he smiled even bigger. He introduced
himself like such a gentleman, and asked me to play with him. I gladly
accepted. From that day on, people began to accept the alien and I made
friends, but it started with one little boy who was willing to look past my
obvious differences from everyone else and befriend me.
Now some of you know this story. The little boy I spoke of
knows it of course, and anyone who has read my book, but there is something
that I purposely left out of that story because I didn’t feel it necessary to call attention to because it wasn’t a factor
that played any part in me sharing it, until now.
That little boy, who by the way is still one of my friends,
is African American.
Does that change how you view it at all? It doesn’t to me in
any way.
He took a chance on the little girl who felt like the whole
world was against me, and at that age, it did feel like I had nobody to lean on
or run to.
Toby Cheek, he is still the same good man he was in 5th
grade. Does he care that I am white and still wear my hair in a God awful mess
to this day? No. It makes no difference at all. I did trade in my purple clips
for this really ugly gold and silver thing that makes me look like rooster
though.
Now, let me make this statement before I start preaching.
Growing up my Mama was very passionate about teaching me about me people. I am
crying as I write this because I thank the good Lord every single day for what
she taught me, and hey Ma, I hope you can read my thoughts for the day up
there, and I hope you are proud of me for of course stating what I believe.
She taught me that we are to see no lines with people; color
is just that, a tone of skin, we are to love all people. We are to walk among
the poor, the rich, the gay, straight, disabled and all the other things that
make us differ from other human beings. We are to help them, regardless of
their criminal record, social standing, bank statement or the lack thereof.
Now Paula Deen, she used a racial slur. Yes she did. She
admitted it and apologized for it. In her doing that, I think we ALL need to sit
down and formally apologize for the things that have come out of our mouths
that are hurtful or unkind.
If you have ever said the word retard, then hey guess what,
you are to be just as ashamed. Have you ever made fun of someone disabled, a
poor person, a mentally disabled person, an Asian person, someone who is
overweight, or how about someone who isn’t on the same social ladder as your privileged
self? How about that Jewish joke you
thought was hilarious? Or how about calling someone a fag or queer?
Every single one of us have said something we aren’t proud
of. I will be the first to admit it, Lord I hope Amazon doesn’t get wind of it
and decides to fire me!
Now how does this story I shared tie in with the Paula Deen controversy?
I will tell you my opinion.
We are being fed by the media. We are doing exactly what
that they wanted us to do. We are fighting amongst ourselves, we are rehashing
racial issues that were supposed to be resolved when the sit in took place and
Rosa Parks took a stand. Why did those pioneers even bother, because look at
us, we are again at each other.
Instead of seeing the need around us, finding peace and
helping our fellow brother we are all tore up and out of frame over something
stupid.
If all this energy were put into the families that will go
hungry tonight, or the lady we pass on the street who is afraid to go home
because her spouse abuses her, or the child at school who is ashamed to show up
because his or her clothes are tattered, our country would be functioning as it
was supposed to. We are ALL Americans, rich, poor, black, white, Christian, atheist,
heavy, skinny, disabled, Asian, Hispanic, gay, straight and we are feeding into
the hands of a bunch of posh rich people who are holding our puppet strings,
plotting what this would do, while they sit in air condition on their lazy
asses and doing nothing to help us the people. Remember the words.. “WE” the
people. WE, are all connected, but as long as we let the media get us fired up
and mad at whatever they choose to serve us, we will never see a change. So
turn off the tv, roll up your sleeves and help your fellow man.
We need not
bicker about something so stupid as a woman using a word she shouldn't have
never said. Was she in the wrong, oh yes and I am in no way defending her, but
people from all walks of life and our surroundings are all guilty of it in some
way. Think of the greater scheme of things, do something positive.
I remember something Mama used to tell me, she said it was
much easier to run your mouth than to ever look need in the face. I can see
from my window some children that look like they could use some new clothes,
people at the grocery store counting pennies to feed their family, so I
challenge you my fellow Americans, get off your asses, and stop letting the
hate consume us, come together, and show those high up snub noses that we won’t
be their muppet show. We will unite.
Before you roll your eyes and dismiss me because you are
thinking that one person can’t make a change, you are so wrong. ONE person can do
so much, you can wreak havoc or you can reach out.
During my writing today one my best of friends, Joseph
Canell called and I read to him what I had so far, he asked me this question
and I feel I should share it and my response. He said, “OK, what about this
whole thing has you so angry?” I responded with this, “Because it is a sad
shame that some useless crap like this gets so much attention, but if a story
airs about people who lost their homes due to disaster, or the hunger rate, or
abuse, or perhaps the development of his new charity comes to light, we don’t
give those needs nearly the attention that they are due. We would rather get
mad and rant over a rich woman who had a tv show and a several prosperous restaurants,
she isn’t hurting for money, and I am not slamming her, but it is true. See the real news, get mad over the real
issues and do something about it.”
I love every one of you, no matter our differences but I
will tell you this, I have no use for instigators and haters, those that do
nothing but pursue conflict and stir drama.
Now, on a funny note, let me tell you, I listened to rap and
country music while I wrote this.
I am Teresa Hardister, I am Southern, I am American, and I
apologize for any slur or other hurtful words that have ever come out of my
mouth. I will apologize for that, but I won’t apologize for standing up and
challenging you to rise above the bull crap and get something positive done.
If you don’t like my words or how I presented them, guess
what, I could care less, I just used one of our freedoms and chose to exercise
my right. Now let us all get along and play pretty!
Here are my thoughts!
©
Teresa
