This topic has
been weighing on me for quite some time, and I was prompted by my 13 year old
son to write about it.
Let me give first the official definition of a friend that
can be found in the dictionary.
-Friend, Noun- a person known well to another and regarded
with liking affection and loyalty.
Now that we have the official meaning let me say this just
doesn’t cover the span of what friendship truly means.
I have been blessed with many friends in my life, but as I
look closer I think many are much more of acquaintances, I know we have all
encountered this.
A friend and the gift of friendship is a blessing. One to be
honored one to treasure and when you really commit to it; you are to see that person
through any circumstances, highs, lows, happiness and sadness.
Genuine friendship isn't judgmental of one another or does
it only function when one person tries and the other turns from it, for
whatever reason.
I can only think of a handful of reasons to ever walk away
and turn your back on a friend. I think
those are obvious and to me, even if one party isn't doing well, you stand by
them in the middle of their personal hurricane and weather the storm until the
sun shines.
I have noticed this pattern over the course of years, I have
seen “friends” rally around me when I was being goofy, silly and sitting on top
of the world, but the moment I slide from my perch and fell face first into a
huge mud puddle, covered in dirt and not so pretty, they do not look upon me.
That hurts, and I guess those would group into the bundle of
“people you know”, not a friend.
A real friend will squat down by the mud puddle, reach in
and pull you up; hugging you as you arise and giving no care if they get dirty
in the process.
It is very easy to love someone and be there for them when
everything is beautiful, a ring of bluebirds are merrily dancing around them
and smiles flow like honey on a hot biscuit.
To love a friend with all of your guts is to see them at
their worst, and not turn away but to turn towards them and do all that you can
within your power to bring back happier days.
I stood in the driveway of my Mama’s house, it was minutes
after she passed away, and I wasn't standing alone, each of my hands were being
held, one by Teresa and the other by Robin.
I was at my complete worst, I was suffering, I was scared, and
I was feeling things I had never felt in my life. I was face down in the mud.
Did they leave me, no, they held on, they generated such a
source of strength for me, I couldn't see it at the time, but they knew me well
enough to know that if I felt loved, felt cared about at my lowest point, that
I would rise, a few more battle scars showing, but I would rise.
I am beginning to see some happier days, I am laughing
again, I am smiling more often, and I have to say it has taken almost 3 years
for me to get here.
Many people may not understand, and that is alright, but I
know, it has taken some tough times to get where I am right now but with the
help of some really awesome friends, and a husband who has been very patient, I
am now rising. I am seeing the old me again, and I couldn't be happier.
The reason for this thought for the day came about by
talking with my son about real friends, and what it means. He is learning, and
I can only hope he is blessed with people in his life that will be willing to
go into the sludge hip deep to get him out should he ever see dark days.
Friends fight, friends argue, friends don't always see eye
to eye. Friends don't hold grudges, friends love you with mud on your face,
friends love you no matter how many times you screw up, and friends see when
you are broken and offer some super glue to piece you back together.
I hope that I can be as good of a friend to those real
friends in my life, as they have been to me.
Sadly, I am facing the loss of a friend who I have known
since I was about 5 years old, and it is so painful, it crushes my soul, I don't remember when she wasn't there. It kicks you in the gut when you think about
it, and it makes you realize how trivial some things about this life are. I
will wake up one day and she won't be there and that makes me feel sick, but I know what she would want, to return the love she gave me to another, and bless
someone as she has with me. I am sure we had our share of issues growing up,
but as I look at the big picture, I will say goodbye to her, and as she goes,
she will know without a doubt that I love her, both of us flawed, and every day
I will try to be good to others.
Don't let petty things destroy a love that only best friends
can share, you may not get the chance to make them right before time is up.
Love, love, love , love each other, hug, get muddy and put a smile on the face
of friend.
Here are my thoughts.
©
Teresa ;)
