Insomnia Induced Thoughts! Brought to you by: School Glue and Pancakes ©

I have found that within the last year I have developed a problem with insomnia. No, I don’t have anything against it personally but I do suffer from bouts of it pretty often.

Being the type of person that is constantly thinking I have now formed a routine when I go through these periods of not sleeping. I try reading, but that makes it worse, because then everything  I read I catch myself going back and reading over what I just read, sometimes just to see If I can catch a spelling error on the part of a major publisher.

If that isn’t bad enough, I tend to read the oddest, most unusual books I can get my hands on and at 2:30 am I am either trying to decide if some quack doctor who published a book is reasonable is his thoughts that we can cure anything with water and that if I take a cold shower or sit in an arctic bath all my cares and worries will dissipate. For the record I personally think that my sitting in a tub full of ice cubes at 3:00 am did nothing for me except make me wonder how I let my life reach this point.

Another favorite night time read is the home remedies, folk lore and successful chicken raising book I acquired from an unknown source. This should not be introduced to my brain in the wee hours of morning because my thought pattern makes me think that now I need to eat ground oyster shells to lay eggs and the common cure for a chicken’s cold is an onion poultice. So needless to say here, I shouldn’t attempt to read late at night to make myself fall asleep.

Now I bring you to my current activity that I indulge in as the insomnia monster and I wrestle around.

I make lists.                           

                                         

I have always been that person who makes a list for everything, groceries, to do stuff, and various other helpful reminder types of deals but let night fall and my eyes are open, lying in bed I find that I construct the strangest list of things ever to be pondered. I think since at present I am suffering from sleeplessness that I will share some of my bizarre lists. After reading these you will either think I am very off my rocker or you will nod in agreement because I make valid points.

Questions I Ask Myself:

1.     ~  Do people still use toasters? Honest to God, two slotted machines that deliver pretty brown goodness on both sides of the bread or do they opt for a multipurpose kitchen appliance to save on shelving and functionality?

2.      ~ How does Icy Hot work? It boggles my mind, it goes on cold, and I mean really cold and then it packs a very smelly, very heated punch. Who created this clever substance that I wear frequently?

3.     ~  Why when people are comparing two very different things use the reference “That’s like comparing apples to oranges.” I must disagree, they both are from the fruit family, they have skins, and they are roundish in shape and can be found in the same department in the grocery store. How about this, “That’s like comparing apples to tractor tires.” I find that to be a much better contrast.  

4.       ~Why do people say the word “syrup” two different ways? They either call it “SEARup” or “SIRup”. I myself lean to the “sir”up pronunciation because it just sounds sweeter when you ask someone to grab it from the fridge or pass it to you across the table. In my opinion saying “SEAR”up just sounds hateful and who wants to sound mad and hateful over breakfast. “SIR”UP just seems to flow right over the butter and down around the batter to form a prettier breakfast environment.

5.       ~

Why would I ever buy a product to apply to my body that is labeled bag balm to soften and sooth my skin? Lie to me. Tell me it is goddess milk and I am all good, I really can’t with a straight face go to a cash register and seem excited because I have rough skin and I am about to go home and slather up with bag balm and feel the least bit attractive afterwards. I would feel more violated than anything else.

Now let us venture into the strange assortment list that I make of things I want to and think I need to do at some point in my life.

1.      ~ Apply school glue to my hands and watch it dry, then carefully peel it off and pretend my hand is emerging from new skin. (Check this off, did it, and will again.)

2.     ~  This one I have mentioned before, getting dreadlocks. I want this to happen somewhere in my life.  Not Bo Derek braids with beads but true dreads that will either look wickedly cool on me or , give me the appearance of the Muppet Show puppet that never really caught on and worked behind the scenes.

3.       ~Make a list of new words that are highly unheard of but do exist and use them in my every day life. (Oh look, a list within a list.)

4.      ~ Finally capture lightning bugs on film; I have taken so many pictures, just knowing that this time I at long last captured the gorgeous light of these whimsical creatures in pictures, instead of uploading only to find 75 photos of pure blackness. I will get you lil bugs, you wait and see!

5.      ~ Build a house out of recycled and natural materials (ex. Hay bales, tires and walls made of wine bottles). I attribute this notion to the books mentioned earlier.

6.       ~Start wearing socks on my hands when I go to bed. Hear me out here. I looked down the other day and although my birthday was only a month ago, I have noticed that in that short time period I have developed hands that look 40. This can’t happen. So I guess I will coat them liberally with bag balm and slap my fuzzy socks on there and come morning I should have more youthful skin or perhaps I will have grown utters, smooth, velvety  utters mind you.

There you have it folks, some of the bizarre places my mind goes when I am staring at the ceiling in the dark. Oh yes, I forgot to add, I need a pair of night vision goggles.

I could write on for another hour, but I am suddenly craving an apple, so I better have one before I attempt to apply Icy Hot to my bum shoulder with my udder gloves, I mean fuzzy socks on my hands.

Good Night, Good Morning.

 ©

Teresa