Once upon a time
there was a little fair haired girl; the small girl couldn't seem to even
function without dragging her Raggedy Andy doll with her everywhere she went.
She took him to play, she took him to ride along with her on
her swing set in the backyard, he sat next to her as she bathed, he kneeled
with her as she said her nightly prayers, and as she drifted into a deep
slumber, she cuddled him close to her heart.
By the way, yes that is me. I couldn't go anywhere without
my Andy. He tagged along with me everywhere I went. Andy and I used to have
some pretty cool adventures.
I suppose he was my security, not in the rough bar bouncer
type of way, but more of my emotional attachment. He was always there.
I loved him, from the moment Mama gave him to me, I loved
him.
I was instructed not to take Andy to school, and against my
parental rules I found myself sneaking him in my book bag and taking him along
for the ride. At first I just left him inside because I didn't want to get in
trouble, but as time went on I decided to take him on the playground. How I got
by the teachers with him, I will never know, or maybe they knew and wanted me
to learn a lesson.
There are many stories I could tell you about me and Andy
and our antics, but I will save those for another day. I will talk to you about
another direction right now.
Needless to say eventually I got in trouble for taking my
Andy to school, he got hurt, maimed if you will, and even after his injuries
and many stitches, he was still close to my heart every single night. I loved
him anyway.
After taking many risks with the ol ‘boy and risking my own consequences
I began to learn that maybe I shouldn’t bring this type of trouble upon myself.
I still drug him over hills, through the mud, and he never
missed a nightly prayer.
Mom had sewn his arm back on so many times, which by the
way, I carried him by the arm; she finally gave up on sewing him back, so she simply
used a safety pin and affixed his lower arm to his shirt.
I suppose along the way I began to grow up, and I didn't
take Andy everywhere, he sat in my bedroom, his presence always known as he sat
there, greeting me with a fond memory when I looked upon him.
This little girl finally grew up, and along the way I
suppose Mama decided it was time to pack Andy up to make room for rock posters,
hairspray, jelly bracelets and countless other items that I just couldn't live
without as a teenager.
I have thought of my Andy often over the years, recalling
our antics and smiling when I thought of busting a bully in the nose because he
shoved Andy face down in a mud puddle. Oh the good old days.
Here we are in 2014, inside still resides that same little
girl, still taking chances, daring to go out a limb (no pun intended) for
people that I hold dear.
Over the weekend my youngest son was trying to recover from
this nasty stomach bug he has so generously shared with the family, when he
feels bad he likes to stroll down memory lane with me and find out everything
he can about my life as it began in the 70’s. He had come across a box that
contained many of my old toys, clothes, etc. Its contents were a great
surprise, for many reason, one of which I will announce later when I am feeling
better. So we sat on the couch, this big box packed tightly between our feet,
and he started taking out one item at a time.
We laughed as he revealed the budding young hippie clothes I
had worn when I was 3 and 4 years old, he was astounded when he unveiled the groovy mobile
that was at once time affixed to my crib, and we were laughing and giggling and then I
saw him, and it seemed my son was pulling him out of the box in slow motion,
there he was.
Andy!
Oh my sweet Andy!
I was in complete awe, here he was, my good buddy, at times
my only companion, and as the tears formed, they began to roll at a steady
stream when I saw the safety pin, there was his bad arm still pinned to him
just as Mama had repaired him so many years before.
He looked so good for his age, his hair somewhat lacking,
but he is approaching the middle aged man era of his existence so it stands to
reason. Without even realizing what I was doing, I clutched him to my chest, as
I had so many times, and it felt so good. I was instantly transported back to
the playground, to the swing set and then our nightly prayers.
I had to look, so I pulled back his shirt, and yes like a
light in the darkest, was the all too familiar heart that simply said “I love
you”.
I began thinking about ol ‘Andy this morning, and how this
relates to life and I came up with a few notions.
In our lives we encounter people, we welcome them in to our
daily routine, we love them, we become used to them being there, and sometimes
they stay, sometimes they go.
Sometimes they travel a different road, and you must part at
the crossing, and that is ok.
I think of my tattered doll, he saw me through so many
things, and then I began to see he was causing me problems, well let’s be
honest, I was dragging him along and I was causing myself problems because I
refused to let go.
I grew, and although he had never betrayed me or left me, I
reached a point in my life where it was time to tuck him away and let him be a
memory, a beautiful memory, but can you imagine me at almost 41 lugging around
a doll dressed in a sailor suit with a bum arm?
There comes a time in our lives when we must face things,
face taking chances, face going at it alone, and that doesn’t mean you must
leave everyone behind, but it means it is time to grow, time to put some things
away and move on. Andy and I had a good run. I am truly glad he can’t talk.
If I had kept pulling Andy around with me I was bound for
more trouble, it wasn't his fault, but I had to learn when it was time to let
go and stand on my own.
My love for him is still there, he is still as good-looking
as he was 38 years ago, but it is best if I let him decorate my memory.
Life is about growing up, it doesn’t happen all once, and contrary
to popular belief, it never stops, there is no magical age when you stop
growing up and learning about this crazy thing we call life.
Along our travels, we are given a sidekick,someone to ride shotgun along part of our journey, and some stay,
and some just need to go, for the betterment of everyone.
I put Andy back in the box, later this week I will find a
special place to put him, one that is fitting for him in my life.
Look over your life, do you have some items, people, or
memories that need to be repaired and then packed up?
Take them out once and a while, hold them close to your
heart, shed some tears and then move on down the road of life, it will make
finding them years later much more attractive. You can miss them, hurt for
them, and you can best of all remember the good times, but sometimes we just
have to grow.
The photo for this Thought for the Day is of my Andy, I knew
you all might want to see him, and I am sure he is glad to make an appearance
in this message.
Ha! As I was closing
this piece, Kenny Rogers started on my playlist, and to quote him, “You got to
know when to hold them, know when to fold them, and when to walk away.”
©
Here are my thoughts.
Teresa ;)
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