~Thought For The Day~ Fight On ©

     I am writing this today because I feel that I can.

Tomorrow it will be two years since I lost Mama. Two years, it seems so long ago, but also at times it feels like it was just yesterday.

I was thinking this morning about how far I have come.

I began thinking of Mom and at about 11 am today, was the last time I heard her speak.

Her final words to me, “I love you Tesi, we got this, Eye of the Tiger Baby.”

And then my world came crashing down.

I never dreamed I would be sitting here now able to talk about it, able to even function and even move on.

I have surprised myself. It is amazing how when you think you can’t, you really can. I remember being a fog for a long time, trying to numb myself, avoiding the topic and scared that if I cried that I would break.

Every single time that I felt like I couldn’t, I could hear here, pushing me, like only she could, telling me to fight; I have. Now here I am, and what have I become? I have become stronger, tougher skinned, and determined to live each day to the fullest. My main goal in life is to now live out my dreams, the dreams she never got to reach because her time here ended.

I want to take dance again, I want to write page after page, I want to start a charity for the poor. Oh let me rephrase, because I can hear her as I type, “don’t say I want, say, I will”.

All of these things I will do, no ifs ands or buts. It will be done.

Some of you may have been blessed enough to know my Mama, and if so I don’t have to tell you how she was, she was stubborn, feisty and determined, but there was such a gentle caring side that I saw so often. For those of you who didn’t know her, and know her only through my words, she was something else. A beauty, inside and out; She stood up for what she believed, she went against the grain and if anyone was in need of help, she was there.

Tomorrow is going to be tough, I am not why it is hitting me this year so hard, I guess the numb has worn off, but I will carry on, I will hold my head high, and keep reaching until I make all my dreams come true.

I want to tell you today, there is nothing you can’t do, nothing annoys me more than a quitter, a gloomy Gus or a pessimist.

 Get up off your rear end and make it happen. That is all that it takes. DO IT.

The one lesson I have learned from this climb, life can change dramatically in a matter of minutes. Your whole world can be cruising along and then BAM out of the blue something happens.

So my advice, from hard living experience, made into a list of course, is this.

Live now.

Love so much.

Speak your mind.

Don’t listen to others opinions that will drag you down.

If you want something, go get it.

Take time to tell those you love, that you do, and if can, show it some unique way.

Hug people.

Touch the hand of someone hurting.

Be satisfied with who you see in the mirror, don’t ever think you aren't enough, you are gorgeous, no matter the size tag in the back.

When people hate on you, smile at them, and keep going!

Live your life, your own way.

Be honest.

Live right.

Laugh a lot.

Smile, even when you are alone.

AND most important, don’t let one day pass without telling those that you love, how much they mean.

Hey Mama, I am getting the hang of this, you said I could and I am sorry I didn’t believe you. I still miss you so much, but I am still coming out of my corner swinging. EYE OF THE TIGER BABY!

 I just smiled and laughed, I can just hear Mom singing our Randleman High School fight song, “See them Tigers passing by, with their heads held high, Fight On, Fight On!” Do it! Fight on!

Here are my thoughts.

 ©

Teresa

~Thought For The Day~ Trust, More Than Words ©

      Standing atop the high dive, I felt like all the breath inside my body was gone, I felt like everyone below could hear my heart pounding, I carefully curled my toes on the very edge of the board.

My face burning from the sun and also from the thought of the whole wide world watching me high above them; I peered down, the water was the most beautiful shade of blue, the warm but yet refreshing, summer breeze coming along at just the right time, reminding me to exhale.

I searched the blue for that familiar face, where was he? He promised! As our eyes met, felt the raging emotions calm and I thought back to our previous conversation.  And to this day, I remember it pretty word for word.

“Teece, you can do it, I promise I will be right there to catch you when you jump, just go, and then you won’t be afraid anymore.”

“But Brian, what if you aren’t there, what if, you forget, or you see one of your friends and I jump by myself?”

“TC, I will be there, I promise, trust me.”

So after feeling like I would puke I carefully and very deliberately climbed every rung of the high dive ladder.

My mind playing every scene that could happen, I had only been alive for about 12 years so I played out much like a horror movie, but as my fears rose, I could hear a whisper in my ear, “I promise, trust me”.

So here we stand on top of the world, well it was to me, the sounds became muted, the world didn't exist anymore, and I only focused on Brian’s face. He smiled and waved me down.

I uncurled my toes, I sprung up and then as I quickly made my way down I thought of nothing other than Brian’s promise, my mind racing, he just had to be there waiting for me.

I remember as I plunged down and the cold water met my body that I was sinking from the impact of the dive, I looked around and before I could even start to paddle to the surface, I felt him there, his arm in mine, his face next to me smiling, and then he gave me that big ol’ thumbs up.

I did it! I made it!

We got back up to the edge of pool and he was still holding my arm, not wanting to embarrass him in front of any potential girlfriends, I reached down and squeezed his hand, he winked and I knew. He was proud of me and we would discuss this further when we went home.

He kept his promise; he was there when he said he would be.

That further strengthened our bond of trust.

At such a pivotal moment in my life, I took a leap of faith, and he kept his word and was right there, with me trusting his word.

Now let’s replay this if he had not been waiting in the deep end for me.

I would have surely risen to the water’s surface, but his promise would have been broken, I would have forgiven him of course, over time but the element of trust that I took a leap for would have been broken.

It would have taken time to regain it and it would have caused a tremendous strain on our relationship.

I am glad he was there.

Trust is a tricky devil, I, myself trust very easily but once it is beaten, broken or bruised, I tend to shy away because I am guarding myself and if the person who broke it makes no attempts to fix it, then I am safe from harm. If that person works at meeting the promises and works to restore trust once again and I see progress then my wall slowly begins to crumble and the healing can begin.

I ran across this quote and I could not find the author but how very true it is.

“You should trust people by their actions, not their words. Because a person might have a heart of gold, but then again so does an egg.”

Trust is the foundation for every single relationship in this world, be it with a parent, a friend, a love, whatever, if you don’t have trust, what do you have? If trust becomes broken, it takes much time to repair it and reinstate the feeling of knowing you can count on that person’s word once again.

Many times in my life I have faced trust issues, and at one point I became very jaded and trusted few, as I began to open my heart again and let people in I also saw things in a new light.

If someone wants you in their life, to remain there, they must maintain trust, and if by chance it is damaged, it is up to the person that brought about the broken bond of trust to  put on their tool belt and get busy doing the needed repairs.

A common argument I have heard in my life is this, “I said I was sorry, I won’t do it again.”

Sadly that often times isn't true, and words alone can’t regain trust, it is an action, one that is hard but if you want that person in your life, it is worth all the work to get it back.

My bond of trust with Brian is very much still intact, we have had normal

 friend quarrels and problems, but he has kept his word to me over the years, and that single fact alone has kept us close for 30 plus years.

In my mind’s eye, I see trust as a bridge, with two people standing on each end, you walk towards each other, knowing you will meet in the middle, if one of you doesn't come forward and never tries to advance, you are back at the start of the bridge trying to regain entry, and shouting across a bridge making promise won’t make the other person believe, they have to see take steps towards them. The step may be slow but they see advancement and with each step, their faith and trust starts to form once more.

My friends, trust is a precious gift, and if you find that you wrecked it or injured it, treat it as a wound, apply the necessary medication, lightly bandage it and care for it with love and attention until you can remove the bandage and see that the healing has taken place. 

Never neglect it, deny it or take advantage of it, because infection will set in, and it much harder to nurse back to health at that stage.

I am not preaching to never trust, I stated before I trust so easily, I am saying if you have tampered with it, do all that you can to restore its strong powers and you will see that faith will be rebuilt, possibly stronger than before.

Here are my thoughts.

©

Teresa  

~Thought For The Day~ It Will Not Change~ ©

I wrote this piece one year ago, and I felt the need to share it again. 

 It was this week, one year ago that my Mother and I had a conversation. It wasn't like the many conversations of our past. This one was different. This one held precious content that I will always cherish and one that will guide me through the rest of my days. We had not talked about her illness, not being something she couldn't overcome, we had never entertained that notion. Until this point we still held on to our faith and just knew one day we would look back as we had so many times and count the blessing of making it through another portion of living hard.

I am unsure how we came to speak of this but I can still see her face. Her expression was very strong, very sincere, and she looked at me with those blue eyes and behind them I could detect that she no longer shared the same outcome as before.

I said “Mama, what will I do? Mama, I can't make it without you, Mama, I need you, Mama please be ok.” I said it just like that. She took my hand in hers, and she said “Oh baby, no matter what happens you will go on, but if life were to take you first, I doubt I could.” I knew I was her sparkle, her reason for always trying and never giving up, but she was mine.

She look long and hard at my face, the sun glistening across my hair from her bedroom window. She tried so hard to raise from her bed. She touched my features, almost like she was memorizing them She reminded me of how she said she touched me when I was born and the first time I was laid in her arms. She looked at that moment like the 20 something year old woman who had just had her daughter. Seeing no flaws, tracing every feature, in awe. I looked at her in the very same way. I was in awe as well. Through all her sickness, pain and intense struggle, she maintained her beauty, not just on the outside but her inner beauty was so present.

We stared at each other for quite a while. Smiling, tears flowing, no words. Finally she said “Tesi, this is a win- win situation for me.” Quickly I said “Mama if you leave me I see no win here.” She replied, “Oh baby, if I go, I am at peace, I will be with my Mama and Daddy and I will be going home, if I stay, I will be with you and the boys.”

Oh Mama, I felt so greedy, I wanted her to have the peace she tried so hard to find for so many years, but I also wanted her here with me.

“I will always be with you, that will never change. Even if I pass, that will never change.”

Today that phrase has played in my mind 100 times. I knew it sounded familiar, so I dug deep, it had another meaning, I just needed to find it.

I sat here this evening covered in chills as I opened the works of our favorite poet Sara Teasdale. If I couldn't find my answers in a Conway song, I knew that my solution could be found in poetic form

The first poem on the page jumped out at me, and this time instead of crying tears of sadness, I cried .because I felt her so near me. She always did make me work for the answers and I guess this time was no different. Here lies my answer. 

“It Will Not Change”

It will not change now

 After so many years;

 Life has not broken it

With parting or tears;

Death will not alter it,

It will live on,

In all my songs for you,

When I am gone.

Sarah Teasdale

I am crying now, because this has been a tremendous journey, one that isn't over yet, but today I feel, I feel my Mama, I feel her strength, her will to never give up and the one thing she begged of me, to never change who I am. I needed a reminder.

I have changed in so many ways, ones I think she would be fine with and changes that have bettered me. I have sadly lost friends along this road, but I suppose if they were friends, they would have never exited when I hit my lowest point in life.

I have not changed my way of speaking my mind, my ability to be a lady, and I am still marching to the beat of a different drummer. It is who I am.

I have learned that you can't please everyone, it is impossible, but it is totally possible to please yourself, so I am doing that,living my life, the best way I know how and if people don't like it, well, “It Will Not Change”.

I am me, if you love me, good, I will love you back with all that I am, if you hate me, well you are only hurting yourself.

A year ago this week, Mama taught me once again to be proud of who I am, hold my head high, even when you feel like running away, stand strong.

Here are my thoughts.

 ©

Teresa 

~Thought For The Day~ Break The Chains ©

     I am unsure where I am going with this Thought For The Day, I have so many things rumbling around in my mind and all of them are begging to be put in written form, so with that said I will close my eyes briefly, inhale and let my heart guide me on what to write about.

Ahhh my eyes are open and I think I see some direction now.

All my life I have heard people use this one certain phrase, “That’s just how I am”.

I am sorry; I see that as settling or as a cop out. I know we get into our own routines for certain things but if those rituals are unhealthy you can’t wrap a blanket around it and hide inside.

None of us want to openly admit a flaw, or have it pointed out, it hurts, the truth of It stings like a nasty hornet when it gets a hold of you and injects its nasty toxins.

When you don’t want to change a behavior or face it, it is so much easier to say “That’s how I am” and then walk away and continue on because you just gave an excuse, not a solution.  

Change is very hard, change is uncharted territory, and when we are faced with a new way, or a change of handling things, it is very scary and unfamiliar, but isn’t it worth trying?

One of my dearest friends has fought a drug addiction for most of his adult life. It has brought to him much shame, the loss of beloved people and a sense of loneliness that has made him feel like a caged animal with no hope of escape.

We have talked so many times about how to fix it, his regrets and his sorrow, and how down on himself it made him feel. I always listened and never felt like I was much help. As his problem kept tearing away at his life and robbing him of life we began thinking of new ways to look at it and how we could make a change that would help him.

The thoughts of him feeling that lost and scared used to haunt me, I lost so much sleep wondering if he was ok and wishing there was just something I could do.

One day as we sat outside, not saying much, he turned and looked at me and said “TC, when life gets out of hand I do drugs, It’s just how I am.”

I was mad, I was hurt and I wanted so badly to shake him, but instead I remember reaching down and grabbing his hand and begging him to let me in, let me into his darkness and somehow, some way help him see the light and a way out.

We decided that day that when he felt he was spiraling out of control and unable to resist his urge to turn to the learned behavior of using drugs to cope, that we would try my way just once, and see what happened.

He promised me that the next time he felt those urges hit, that he would simply call me. I had no clue where we would go from there but I did get him to agree to a change.

Sure as the world, 3 am and my phone rang on a Friday night. It was him, he was in tears and all he could say was “Help me TC.” I quickly shook myself awake in the dark and sat up in bed, clutching the phone like I was holding his life in my hands. We ended up talking for two hours. We didn't speak about his addiction, we talked about life, fishing, and how badly I used to cook rice. He finally said, I think I can sleep now, and both of us fell asleep with a new sense of peace.

Many more nights my phone rang, sometimes he had already taken the plunge and used, but he still called, he was changing slowly, he was letting someone into his personal hell and reaching out for help.

It took a while for him to realize that he could break the chain of handling it all alone and that there are people in this world who love you enough to help you, even when you are not your best.

Now I am proud to say, he is recovering and doing well. He still calls, and we still talk about the same goofy stuff, but I think the underlying fact is that he is calling to reassure himself that I am still there, my hand extended and willing to help him face his changes and willing to do whatever it takes to see him through.

In order to change, you must want to, you have to want it more than anything in the world, it could possibly take losing everything you have, every possession, every hope and every dream, but if you know there is one person there who will challenge your “That’s just how I am” attitude then it is worth stepping out of what you know and sticking your hand out and seeing what else might be there instead of what you already know and it’s self-destructive outcome.

I am not saying we all have a drug addiction, but we all have something we are fearful of breaking away from and trying a new way of handling it. If you have one person who believes in you, well my friends you have an advantage already.

Change isn’t bad, bad is when you continue and refuse to see that change can sometimes bring about the most treasured and beautiful things that you would have missed if you had not been willing to try.

My Luke, when he was small loved his bubble baths, but if you dare mention a shower, he would cry. He didn’t like the idea of trying it and for a while I let it slide. Finally one day, I sat him down and said “Just try it one time for me.” I had to agree to stand at the bathroom door with my hand firmly grasping the doorknob to the bathroom. I stood there, unable to see my little boy, tears flowing because I knew he was terrified, I never questioned why, it didn't matter, but he made a huge step and decided to try.

I listened to every sound, and after about five minutes the water was off and I heard him calling me, “Mommy, are you still there?”  “Yes, Luke, I am right here baby.”

It took a few times of me standing holding the door, just in case he needed me, but he knew I was right there, waiting, just in case. I knew he could do it.

Now he is 13 and I think he showers more than anyone I have ever met, he is either getting ready to take one or just getting out it seems likes.

What if he had not challenged himself? What if he had let his fear control him, what if he only took bubble baths because well “That’s just how he is”. He would have missed out on something he loves, and he knows know too, that no matter what, I am always nearby, his challenges will get bigger as he ages but he is assured that he won’t be alone.

It takes just one time to try a new way, why not start today? You could be missing out on such a beautiful outcome and embarking on wonderful things you have never tried.

 Break the chain, break the chains of the past that bind you.

I leave you with these quotes.

~Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.~James Baldwin

~We cannot become what we need to be, remaining what we are.~Max  De Pree

Here are my thoughts.

©

Teresa 

~Thought For The Day~ Well Shut My Mouth, No, Not This Time! ©

     Let me introduce myself in case you aren't familiar with who and what I am about.

I am Teresa Hardister. I am a writer, I am an author, I am woman, I am a human being with red white and blue running through my veins, I am a mother, a friend, and oh by the way, and you will quickly come to know that I am very Southern.

With that being said I want to go ahead and tell you that I will possibly offend you or make you mad, but I am fine with that because in the end, I made you think. So I will write on. Now mind you my two cents is about as valuable as a pat of Paula Deen’s butter, but here goes.

I want to address something very present in the media currently. I normally shy away from such topics but I am going to attempt to share my view of things with you, and hopefully if you have an open mind you will better understand why I am penning these words.

In my first book, I wrote a chapter titled “Alien in the Purple Dress”. I think today it would be appropriate to share some information about that chapter that I left out but first I will recap what it entailed.

I attended a private Christian school until the 5^th grade, at that time my parents enrolled me in public school. I had no clue what to expect, or who I would encounter. I was a nervous wreck.

When I arrived all my fears were met and I was the outsider, I was the strange new girl who came from some distant planet who didn’t belong in this class.

I suffered through the morning of my first day with no friends, no smiles, and as recess approached I found myself fighting tears and wanting desperately to go home. I never wanted to come back, these people were so mean to me and they didn’t even know me. It didn’t help my case that my attire did not match that of all the other kids. While all the other kids were wearing shorts, t-shirts, and tennis shoes, I stood out like a big grape in a purple print dress with matching hair clips.

Recess was going to be a nightmare, I could feel my stomach churn as we filed out the door to the playground, I stood by the monkey bars at Randleman Elementary and it felt like I was a million miles away from anything I had ever known.

The children who passed by me laughed and pointed and called me many nasty names, still fighting so hard not to cry I tried to look away. In the distance I could see a little boy coming towards me. At first thought I figured he was coming to just finish me off and send me wailing to the bathroom.

He smiled, and I looked behind me. He was smiling at me? My first smile! I smiled back and as he got closer, he smiled even bigger. He introduced himself like such a gentleman, and asked me to play with him. I gladly accepted. From that day on, people began to accept the alien and I made friends, but it started with one little boy who was willing to look past my obvious differences from everyone else and befriend me.

Now some of you know this story. The little boy I spoke of knows it of course, and anyone who has read my book, but there is something that I purposely left out of that story because I didn’t feel it necessary to  call attention to because it wasn’t a factor that played any part in me sharing it,  until now.

That little boy, who by the way is still one of my friends, is African American.

Does that change how you view it at all? It doesn’t to me in any way.

He took a chance on the little girl who felt like the whole world was against me, and at that age, it did feel like I had nobody to lean on or run to.

Toby Cheek, he is still the same good man he was in 5^th grade. Does he care that I am white and still wear my hair in a God awful mess to this day? No. It makes no difference at all. I did trade in my purple clips for this really ugly gold and silver thing that makes me look like rooster though.

Now, let me make this statement before I start preaching. Growing up my Mama was very passionate about teaching me about me people. I am crying as I write this because I thank the good Lord every single day for what she taught me, and hey Ma, I hope you can read my thoughts for the day up there, and I hope you are proud of me for of course stating what I believe.

She taught me that we are to see no lines with people; color is just that, a tone of skin, we are to love all people. We are to walk among the poor, the rich, the gay, straight, disabled and all the other things that make us differ from other human beings. We are to help them, regardless of their criminal record, social standing, bank statement or the lack thereof.

Now Paula Deen, she used a racial slur. Yes she did. She admitted it and apologized for it. In her doing that, I think we ALL need to sit down and formally apologize for the things that have come out of our mouths that are hurtful or unkind.

If you have ever said the word retard, then hey guess what, you are to be just as ashamed. Have you ever made fun of someone disabled, a poor person, a mentally disabled person, an Asian person, someone who is overweight, or how about someone who isn’t on the same social ladder as your privileged self?  How about that Jewish joke you thought was hilarious? Or how about calling someone a fag or queer?

Every single one of us have said something we aren’t proud of. I will be the first to admit it, Lord I hope Amazon doesn’t get wind of it and decides to fire me!

Now how does this story I shared tie in with the Paula Deen controversy? I will tell you my opinion.

We are being fed by the media. We are doing exactly what that they wanted us to do. We are fighting amongst ourselves, we are rehashing racial issues that were supposed to be resolved when the sit in took place and Rosa Parks took a stand. Why did those pioneers even bother, because look at us, we are again at each other.

Instead of seeing the need around us, finding peace and helping our fellow brother we are all tore up and out of frame over something stupid.

If all this energy were put into the families that will go hungry tonight, or the lady we pass on the street who is afraid to go home because her spouse abuses her, or the child at school who is ashamed to show up because his or her clothes are tattered, our country would be functioning as it was supposed to. We are ALL Americans, rich, poor, black, white, Christian, atheist, heavy, skinny, disabled, Asian, Hispanic, gay, straight and we are feeding into the hands of a bunch of posh rich people who are holding our puppet strings, plotting what this would do, while they sit in air condition on their lazy asses and doing nothing to help us the people. Remember the words.. “WE” the people. WE, are all connected, but as long as we let the media get us fired up and mad at whatever they choose to serve us, we will never see a change. So turn off the tv, roll up your sleeves and help your fellow man. 

We need not bicker about something so stupid as a woman using a word she shouldn't have never said. Was she in the wrong, oh yes and I am in no way defending her, but people from all walks of life and our surroundings are all guilty of it in some way. Think of the greater scheme of things, do something positive.

I remember something Mama used to tell me, she said it was much easier to run your mouth than to ever look need in the face. I can see from my window some children that look like they could use some new clothes, people at the grocery store counting pennies to feed their family, so I challenge you my fellow Americans, get off your asses, and stop letting the hate consume us, come together, and show those high up snub noses that we won’t be their muppet show. We will unite.

Before you roll your eyes and dismiss me because you are thinking that one person can’t make a change, you are so wrong. ONE person can do so much, you can wreak havoc or you can reach out.

During my writing today one my best of friends, Joseph Canell called and I read to him what I had so far, he asked me this question and I feel I should share it and my response. He said, “OK, what about this whole thing has you so angry?” I responded with this, “Because it is a sad shame that some useless crap like this gets so much attention, but if a story airs about people who lost their homes due to disaster, or the hunger rate, or abuse, or perhaps the development of his new charity comes to light, we don’t give those needs nearly the attention that they are due. We would rather get mad and rant over a rich woman who had a tv show and a several prosperous restaurants, she isn’t hurting for money, and I am not slamming her, but it is true.  See the real news, get mad over the real issues and do something about it.”

I love every one of you, no matter our differences but I will tell you this, I have no use for instigators and haters, those that do nothing but pursue conflict and stir drama.

Now, on a funny note, let me tell you, I listened to rap and country music while I wrote this.

I am Teresa Hardister, I am Southern, I am American, and I apologize for any slur or other hurtful words that have ever come out of my mouth. I will apologize for that, but I won’t apologize for standing up and challenging you to rise above the bull crap and get something positive done.  

If you don’t like my words or how I presented them, guess what, I could care less, I just used one of our freedoms and chose to exercise my right. Now let us all get along and play pretty!

Here are my thoughts!

©

Teresa

~Thought For The Day~ What If? ©

  I was visiting with a very nice lady who lives across from us. I had not seen her since we left and as I sat and talked to her, taking in her words and also the words I didn't hear but the gestures and smiles she gave,  as I did I saw the formation of this thought for the day.

She greeted me with a smile and welcomed me in, telling me about her new puppy and showing him off. She carefully sat back into her easy chair and she sighed long and deep.

She talked her about her grandchildren, the heat, and many other various topics.

Without hesitation she announced that she has but six months to live. She is coming to the end of a terrible struggle with many ailments but mainly her battle with a heart condition.

I watched her as she smiled, laughed and hugged everyone who entered her home.

I really didn't know what to say, I tried, but I had very little to add after her announcement.

I admire her greatly, and as I exited her door, a down pour of rain came. Normally I would have run to take cover, but I just stood there, letting the rain slam against me, soaking my clothes to my skin.

At that moment the grand scheme showered down upon me. It cleansed my soul and it washed through me like a quickly approaching thunder shower. I needed to process all of this and think on it for a while.

I made my way back slowly to where I live, and I began thinking, and then as I cooked dinner, my mind could not shake what I had just encountered. Last night as I stood outside with the fireflies dancing around me, I looked across and saw her looking out the window; she was taking in this natural light show just like I was.

I can’t imagine where my mind would be if I knew I that in a matter of months my life would be at its end. I can honestly say, seeing her frame of mind and her way to handle it has led me to you, to give you the wisdom I gained in just a matter of minutes on a hot June evening.

What if today were our last?

What if tomorrow never came?

Would you be pleased with what you left behind?

Did you truly live or did you just go through the motions of every day?

I have asked myself these questions many times over the years, but after sitting with this lovely person and absorbing her attitude, it all made sense and I came to see things from a whole new standpoint.

We get so wrapped up in daily life that we forget to live. What do I mean live you are asking. Before you check your pulse let me explain. I don’t mean doing mounds of laundry, cooking dinner every night, taking your kids here and there, clocking into work, paying bills, changing the sheets on your bed weekly. I mean LIVE.

How often have you stood outside in the rain?

How often have you called someone for no reason, or better yet showed up at their door with a smile, a cake or a handpicked flower?

How often have you stopped everything you were doing to sit in the floor and play with a child, not just your child, but any child you know?

How often have you made sure that those you love so dearly know it?

Now let me ask you this next series of questions. I promise there will be no written test afterwards, but I will ask you to test yourself after the closing of this piece.

How many times have you seen an incoming call and hit ignore, just because that person talks too much and with the best of intentions you think” I will call them later”.

How many times has someone sent you a text message and you ignored just because you figured you had all the time in the world to reply, and you let it sit there for days, months or maybe you possibly deleted it?

We are all guilty of this. We think that we have so much time, so many more days to get around to living, but my friends we can’t put it off; we must LIVE, and LIVE NOW.

My mind goes to a favorite movie quote, I want you to read it, and then read it again. Ponder this;

“Every man dies, but not every man lives. ~Braveheart

I think back to when I was a little girl, I wanted to dance, I had grand dreams of being a dancer, a ballerina or a tap dancer, and I failed horribly at them both, I really did. I remember Mom saying, “Ya know what Tesi, you may not be a ballerina or a tap dancer, but don’t let that stop you from dancing, dance on sweetheart.” Do I still dance? Every single chance I get, even when it isn't really a good time. Why? Because, I feel like it. Because I don’t want to be remembered for the mundane tasks I perform, I want to be remembered for always living.

This week one of my very best friends fulfilled a dream, he and I have had so many conversations about giving back to the world, about making a difference and bringing something positive to this world in our different ways. I am very proud to say he has done that. Joseph Canell started a nonprofit organization for children. He made his vision happen! How? Because he didn't just keep driving his truck and wishing, he got up, and found a way to better the world. So many people tell me that they can’t change anything so they just got through the motions and that is 100% pure bull snot. They have some idea in their minds that one single person can’t do anything to leave a mark on the world, to make a difference. WRONG!

Even the smallest acts, the most overlooked things are ways to make a change and also bring joy to your heart, and it always leaves a legacy behind you, a legacy that screams I LIVED!

Think of my neighbor, her days are numbered, but guess what, so are yours, she just has a heads up. Tomorrow is too late, think of sweet Clint, my awesome little friend who squealed with in the ball pit, we live; we die, but are we happy, fulfilled and satisfied? If you aren't try something new.

As I type this, I look across to that lady’s window, I know by winter I will no longer see her there, she is OK with it, and guess what, she is living now. Like there will be no tomorrow.

Don’t put it off, get out there and LIVE! Make some calls, change a life, even in a small way, you are living. Dance in the rain, because when your time is done, you will long be remembered by what you did, never what you wished you had.

I write this in dedication to Joseph Canell, who has put his dreams in action, starting small but very determined he is living and seeing  a greater picture of what life is about. It isn't about who has the most money when they carry you out, it is about the lives you touched, the memory of what you lived.

Joe, my friend, thank you for living with me, for standing up and giving of yourself in such a selfless way; I am so very proud of Project Blackbird, and what you strive to do. You will be rewarded more than you ever dreamed, by the smiles of children, the hope you gave that child’s parents and those around you who see that ONE person can live and change lives.

LIVE PEOPLE.. LIVE. Don’t shuffle through life with your head down…GET ON IT! What if....

Here are my thoughts!

Also go check out Project Blackbird, a very good way to start living my friends. 

Project Blackbird

©

Teresa ;)

~Thought For The Day~ I Believe ©

     If I had to wager I would say that this piece would be my most revealing, the most heartfelt and the truest self-writing I have done in some time.

I am composing this mainly for myself, as an affirmation of my beliefs but in doing so I hope everyone will take something from this.

I am highly opinionated but in the public eye, I tend to keep my beliefs to myself most of the time and write about things that will better our world and bring some much needed sunshine or reflection.

I began pondering this since yesterday and I have been mentally making a list since then to prepare.

I will now discuss and list the things that I believe in. Some are small, none are less than another but each one is something I am passionate about and in sharing with you, perhaps you will assess what you stand for, have a better understanding of who I am and walk away making a list for yourself.

I believe in heaven.

I believe that my greatest investments into the future are my two sons.

I believe in owning a gun.

I believe in the power of touch.  Whether it be a reassuring hug from a friend, two sets of hands from your children on your back silently letting you know they are behind you, a deep passionate kiss that makes you feel alive, the hand of a stranger reaching to hold yours in times of struggle or grief. I think that the power of touch is something we often disregard and it should be more openly shown. I can recall many times in my life when a kiss on the head from Mama, a hug from a best friend, a little hand in mine or a hug from behind and a kiss on my shoulder breathed new life into me.

I believe in being silly, dancing with some pretty bad dance moves with my kids, blowing bubbles or jumping off the couch wearing a blanket cape pretending to be Batgirl, this is part of living. Silliness lends to a happier heart and the struggles of life much more bearable.

I believe that in order to ask the good Lord to forgive you, you must also be willing to forgive others. None of us are free from faults and it seems hypocritical to want forgiveness if we aren’t willing to give it to others. Not to say you should be a doormat, but forgiving someone gives you freedom, you find peace within yourself and aren’t loaded down with bitterness.

I believe in love, I don’t really know how to elaborate on this, I just believe in love, always.

I believe in helping others, no matter what. Never judging them by them by their color, creed, religion, sexual preference, looks or financial statement; If a person is in need, you address the need and look not at what or who they are, you give freely because someday you might find yourself reaching for a hand to help and in doing for other people might better your chances of the goodness of others.

I believe in being a lady. I just can’t bring myself to be crude or lewd, and I thank my Mother for setting such a wonderful example.

I believe in prayer, many long nights I have found myself on my knees, and as the daylight came creeping into my vision it never fails that my fear or request seems to be heard and the light of a new day is also the beginning of an answered prayer.

I believe in words. Spoken and written.  The amazing formation of words can do so many things. Lift a wounded spirit, break a heart, or simply give hope.

I believe that music can cure and heal, but my personal thought on music is that is gives us our own private time machine. You can be transported to a better time, recall a memory or bring back your gusto all through the lyrics and melody of song.

I believe that the children who were allowed to have muddy kneed jeans, bugs in their pockets and dirt in between their toes grow up with a better understanding of life and what joy really is and they hold that grasp into adulthood.

I believe in people. As my grandma used to say “I don’t care who it is, there is some good in there.”; We so often dismiss someone because of a flaw or mistake and never look deeper or perhaps see our own flaws. So I agree, “There is some good in there.”

I believe in beauty. Not the makeup and nail polish, I mean honest to God beauty. I think our society has warped our minds on what is beautiful, and to me, a sincere smile, a kind heart and a loving hand are what makes someone beautiful, not a hair color or size tag. We just take everything at face value, kind of like an orange, I have seen some that really didn’t look so great on the outside and I peeled it anyway, but once inside it captivated me with its sweetness and it truly tickled my senses.

I believe in death.  I know this sounds strange but in losing my Mother I have come to terms with my fear.  When I questioned her on departing this world she always quoted the scripture, “There is a time to live, and there is a time to die.” Looking back now, I see it. We are given a life, a chance to live it, and when it is our time, and the cycle goes on, we must die. But sometimes I think we die long before our heart stops beating by giving up and not really living the life we have been given. We struggle, fight and don’t look seize the opportunity to make it great.

I believe in karma. I with my whole heart have faith in the theory that you always get what you give. Sometimes when people are wronged they wish ill of that person, and seek revenge, wait it out, that circle will complete itself and you WILL get what you gave whether it be positive or negative.

I believe in nature. I believe that there is no better feeling in the world than swirling around with a free heart in the pouring rain, sticking my feet in a squishy mud hole, digging a hole and planting a tender new life, listening to the birds call to one another, feeling the sun tingle on my cheeks. Simple but yet so complex that we are a part of this beautiful world, I love being outside, and if I really want to figure something out, or write something I can’t seem to get right, I take it outside, and as the sky opens, so do my thoughts and my cares drift away with that light breeze that sweeps my hair out of my eyes. (Yes that does happen; more birds have seen both my eyes than any other living creature.)

I am sure there are many more things I could list, and I will but this is all for today.

I believe….

Here are my thoughts.

©

Teresa