~Thought for the Day~ To Forgive ©

     I wasn't planning on writing this morning but something keeps nagging at my gut and I had to purge if you will and let it out.

I have some things on my mind, topics of various nature, some good, some not so pleasant.

One in particular keeps weighing on my shoulders and pulling at my heart.

I don't know if I have ever addressed this topic or not but it is a major virtue in my life.

Forgiveness, absorb that word. Seriously ponder it for a moment, what comes to mind?

Forgiveness.

In the grand scheme of life ours is but a short time here on Earth.

If we glance backwards we notice that the years roll by swiftly, we can’t stop time, and we can't prevent the days from flying into the wind as the calendar blows rapidly in the time of our lives.

Now think back to being a child, it seems so long ago sometimes, and then again if we concentrate it seems that only yesterday we were children, with little care.

I am sitting here imagining my childhood, my friends, my family, the love, the laughs, the heart break, the ups, downs and turnarounds that have taken place in my existence.

I remember back to a time when I held a grudge, in my early adulthood, I was very angry with a dear friend. I let that anger consume me, I wrote that person off and swore I never would speak to them again because of the wrongs I felt they had brought to me.

I was going to hold on to that hurt and never let it happen again, and then I forgave them.

I am not sure how or why I did, but I knew something was missing in my life and it was that person.

They had faults, yes, but so do I.

They had done me wrong, or so I thought in my own mind and in doing that I came very close to becoming bitter and hard.

I am so happy that way back then I forgave that person because ahead in my life I saw the big picture.

I think back to the times when that person was one of the only people I had on many a dark day. If they had not been there, I could have easily slipped into my own shadow and never returned, but thankfully, oh so thankfully, I had opened my heart to them again and I was able to see, hear and feel the true love of a friend when I didn't think I had anything in this world.

When my kids were small and they would get in trouble, they were told what they had done; they were given a strong talking to and sent on their way to ponder what they had done. Many times sitting in their rooms to “think” about what they had done.

I recall many times after whatever incident  had occurred, they would come to me, shoulders drooping, head down, and in a meek and humble voice they would say, “Mama, are you mad at me?” And sometimes I even heard, ‘Mom, do you hate me?”

I would hug them up and tell them no, I could never hate them, I wasn't happy with them but hate wasn't even possible. Sometimes we would shed tears together and our hearts would mend.

We put it behind us and moved on.

I didn’t write off my children when they did wrong or something I thought wasn't correct.

I am a huge Andy Griffith Show fan, and I think back to an episode that impacted me greatly. Opie was a little boy, his Dad had asked him to donate part of his meager allowance to a charity for underprivileged children and Opie only gave a very small amount.

His father punished him, he was irate, he was steaming mad at the thought of his own son being so greedy. He didn't talk to his son about actions, he ASSUMED and in his assumption he thought he had all the answers.

In the end, Opie had been saving his money to buy a coat for a little girl who knew who was braving the cold in a tattered old rag, and he wanted to help, he saw a need and took it upon himself to help. Even when his father punished him he didn't speak up and tell his “Pa” his reasoning. Only after his dad smacked down his reprimand and started to talk to his boy did he come to see the real truth.

Needless to say Andy Taylor felt like a big ol' jack ass for not looking into the matter further and also for not trusting that this boy had good morals and values and trusting his choice.

So many times we assume we know what the whole picture is, and in reality we can only see a corner piece of the puzzle, we can't grasp the entire view if we don’t look closer or attempt to try and angle for a better view.

I have learned in my life that we are given such a short stay here, and if we carry around hard feelings and negativity, well, in the end that is all we really have. We have a bitter attitude and arrogance of better than thou and to me, that isn't all that pretty to think about.

I have mentioned it many times, but I have survived a horrific take down when I lost my Mother. It was a huge blow to my gut, but every day, I get back up, I face it, I deal with it and along the way I have lost some important people, I suppose because I had to practice some self perseveration for the first time in my life. I had to put myself first to survive what I saw, what I felt and try to emerge a better woman.

I wasn't forgiven. I am ok with that, people have their reasons and their lives aren’t mine to live. I wish them nothing but joy and happiness. I do however wish that when people choose to remove you that they take a lesson from Andy Taylor, investigate, and get informed, because we never know what is happening beyond what we can see. 

We need not hand down an exile before we give thought to the other human being involved.

To live with negative feelings towards others is to hurt yourself, not the other person.

Forgiveness.

It takes courage to forgive; it takes strength to admit that you too are just the same, a flawed person.

Let love in, free yourself from the darkness that is clouding your world when you hold on to resentment and hatred.

I am not saying you welcome someone back into your life that hurt you, but before you completely throw them away, give thought to your own flaws, and see if you ever stumbled along the way.

Forgiveness.

It is a choice, a choice to free your heart, mind and soul.

To forgive is to truly live bravely.

As I am writing a quote from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. comes to mind and I ask that in closing you take it in, ponder it and see if it speaks to you.

‘We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this we are less prone to hate our enemies.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Here are my thoughts.

©

Teresa